At the age of 14, I asked the Lord to come into my life. My parents raised me in church and did the very best that they knew how to do. Shortly after I graduated from high school, I became a heroin junkie. You can imagine the shock, disappointment and hurt my family and friends had to face. See, I was saved at the age of 14 but I never asked the Lord to crucify and help me deal with the feelings of rejection that I had deep in my soul.
I didn’t really know I was supposed to and I definitely didn’t know how. I realized that although I was saved, those same feelings still remained. This lead to me to be upset with God and for the next 30 years to run as hard as I could away from Him. At the age of 15 1/2, I was looking to fill the void I had in my heart, so this led me to using dope. It was my escape to cover every pain, hurt, disappointment, failure or success in my life. Any addiction is just a cover up to not have to feel the pain.
This lifestyle has taken me in and out of prison since 1985. In 1999, I received a 18-24 year prison sentence. I had finally reached a bottom that I can only describe as utter despair. At this point, I didn’t think the Lord would have anything to do with me. But I was so desperate that I asked Him to anyway.
What I am seeing is that He had been with through it all. The past 17 years, I have been so blessed with a great personal relationship with my lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Even though I have spent this time behind bars, I have experienced true freedom like I have never known in my life. The majority of my growth has been in the last 3 1/2 years. This is due to becoming involved with Freedom Life Ministries.
They have helped me to get on my feet, they hold me accountable, they walk with me and show me how to live a life pleasing to God and society. I have been given a great privilege to be able to witness to people in the community and share with others how the Lord has changed my life. I am also honored to be a part of, “Heart Cry.” Heart Cry is a gospel band that is made up of current offenders that share through testimony and song. I am truly blessed today in the Lord, I am no longer in bondage of guilt or shame!